Marks on My Skin (Love & Ink #1) Read online

  Love & Ink:

  Marks On My Skin

  Book One

  By

  J.A. Howell

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Published by

  SideStreet Cookie Publishing, LLC

  www.sidestreetcookiepublishing.com

  Copyright © 2014 J.A. Howell

  All rights reserved.

  Cover design by J.A. Howell

  Edited by Tyffani Clark Kemp

  DEDICATION

  To anyone who’s ever fallen in love with the right person at the wrong time.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  There are so many people to thank for helping and inspiring me. I could not have written this book without any of you.

  Aunt Amy, I miss you dearly. I still have the voicemail you left me after you read my first book and I still listen to it sometimes. You were always a source of encouragement and inspiration. You were also bold and fiery. When I told you I was thinking about an erotic romance, you told me to go for it (though in much more colorful words). So I did.

  Robert and Madi, you guys are an amazing support system and an amazing source of inspiration.

  Tyffani, Thank you for not letting me quit when I got frustrated or doubted what I was doing. Also, thank you for “The Motorboat” and all your other humorous contributions to Kieran and Shayne’s story. I love you lady. In the most heterosexual way ;)

  Tara, thanks for always making me laugh, and letting me brainstorm with you when I was stuck You’re an amazing writer and an equally amazing friend.

  Hannah, Stephanie, and Michele, thank you so much for beta-reading and believing in this story even before it was completely ready. (I finally wrote that missing scene haha).

  To those that were kind enough to open up to me and share their experiences and expertize with me, thank you for your advice and help on of the aspects of Marks On My Skin that I wanted to ensure stayed true to the the BDSM and D/s lifestyle. I’ve learned a lot writing this story and you all were a big part of that.

  To Brenda, thanks so much for helping me get my social media in order. Already you have been a great help and I’m excited to continue working with you!

  Ange & Brittani, and so many others that are a part of mine and Tyffani’s street team, thanks for keeping me on my toes, making me laugh, and completely embracing my characters. You all have gotten me so excited to share this new series.

  .

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  DEDICATION

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

  CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

  CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE

  CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

  CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

  CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

  CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

  CHAPTER FORTY

  CHAPTER FORTY ONE

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  CHAPTER ONE

  Love

  If you’ve never had your heart ripped out, it’s a very painful process that can happen when you least expect it. I had no idea when I came up the front steps of my house that mine would be ripped out in just a few short minutes.

  The unlocked front door should have been my first clue. Or maybe even the unfamiliar cars parked across the street of our quiet cul-de-sac. When I’d left Kendall alone that morning I was sure I had locked the door. A soft cry came from upstairs and panic settled in my gut.

  “Kendall?” I called out, but a pain-filled moan came in reply. Horrified, I ran up the stairs two at a time. Adrenaline and fear pumped through my veins with the need to protect my wife. The bedroom door was cracked open and my stomach turned when I saw Kendall laid out on the bed—stripped naked with four men holding her down. My fists clenched. Outrage and disbelief shook through me at the sight of them raping my wife. I snatched a lamp off the side table and launched myself into the room. I didn’t care that I was outnumbered. They were hurting her.

  “Get off my feckin’ wife!” I growled, smashing the lamp over the head of the man on top of her. He let out a yelp and crumpled to the floor unconscious with pieces of the ceramic lamp around him. I looked back up to the others, prepared to fight, but they stared back at me wide-eyed, as did Kendall. Suddenly I felt sick for an entirely different reason.

  “Kendall…What’s going on?”

  “Dude…what the hell just happened?” Someone else asked behind me and I spun around. Another man stood in the doorway—completely naked and eating a sandwich. From my kitchen. My stomach did a horrible somersault. Nope. They hadn’t been attacking her at all.

  I looked back to Kendall. The other men shied away from her. “These men weren’t rapin’ ya…were they?”

  Her brow knit together in concern, but I had a feeling it wasn’t for me. “Kier, we should talk.”

  You never realize your heart is about to be ripped out until the moment right before. Of course, hindsight is twenty/twenty, isn’t it? The last month of her refusing to let me come near her, my numerous faults that seemed to pile up that made me—in her opinion—a lousy husband. All these things should have warned me long ago. But it only just hit me then. Like a feckin’ battering ram.

  The men, now slightly embarrassed by the situation, grabbed their clothes off the floor, as well as their unconscious friend, and filed out of the room. I stared at her, unflinching. My heart thumped erratically, a dull, aching pain slowly snaking up into my chest. I knew what was coming.

  “What’s goin’ on, Kendall?”

  She blinked at me, her blue eyes cold and unyielding, and pushed long blonde strands of hair behind her ears. She’d covered herself up, not that it mattered. Apparently, everyone had seen my wife naked recently—except me.

  “I’m moving out, Kier. This isn’t working anymore. I just don’t feel satisfied.”

  I stared at her, mouth agape in disbelief. How could she say that when I tried to do everything to please her? Hell, how could she say that when she’d shrugged off every single attempt of affection from me lately? Anger rose up, replacing the initial shock, and I clenched my jaw tight. Furious, I glanced toward the bedroom door th
en back at her.

  “Ya don’t feel satisfied? Why? Because I’ve only got one feckin’ cock and not five?! Jayhsus, Kendall, is this because I don’t have more money comin’ in yet? I’ve been bustin’ my arse tryin’ ta finish my feckin’ book. Meanwhile, yer feckin’ a bunch of arseholes in our bed while I’m gone?”

  “I just can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.” She shrugged. A soft gasp left my lips and I stood there motionless. She slid out of bed and went for her closet, ignoring me. “I’ll grab a bag and come back for the rest later. I was planning to wait a couple weeks, but I think it’s best we do this now.”

  “Do what? No!” I came up behind her and grabbed the bag out of her hand. “No, ya can’t just feckin’ leave! Whatever I did, I’m sorry, but yer not even givin’me a chance ta fix it.”

  “Because there is no fixing this.” She sighed and snatched the bag back, paying me no mind as she pulled clothing off the hangers and shoved them inside. A tight pain spread through my chest. I reached for her in one last ditch effort to keep her from leaving.

  “Please don’t go, Kendall. I love ya.” I begged and pressed my lips against hers.

  She didn’t kiss me back.

  Her lips tightened into a frown and she slid out of my grip, turning away from me once more.

  “I’m sorry, Kieran, but I just don’t love you anymore.”

  Two Months Later

  “Kieran, open the feckin’ door, arsehole. I know yer in there.” Niall, my younger brother, startled me as I sat in my study. I looked at the time on my laptop. It was three in the afternoon and the document I’d been working on was still a blank screen staring back at me.

  “Kier…yer car’s in the drive. I know yer home even if ya won’t answer a feckin’ phone call. Open the door or I’ll break it down. I swear ta God, I will.”

  I stood and looked out the window. Niall was downstairs on the front step, a fist raised to knock again. His gaze darted in my direction and narrowed before I snatched the blinds shut.

  “Really, arsehole? I feckin’ saw that.”

  I sighed and sank into my chair, but the loud thump jolted me back out of it. Another thump came as I went to the staircase, followed by a jarring crack.

  “Hold on, Niall, don’t break the feckin’—”

  Splinters of wood flew across the foyer floor and the door swung open. I let out another sigh. Niall grinned at me but it quickly faded as he took in my haggard appearance.

  “Jayhsus Kier, ya look like shite.”

  I grumbled and made my way down the stairs, ignoring his assessment. “What are ya doin’ here?”

  “Well, if ya bothered ta listen ta yer messages or return my calls ya’d know I was in town fer a shoot. I was worried since I hadn’t heard from ya so I thought I’d stop by. Where’s Kendall?” Niall glanced around the foyer to the living room and the kitchen, an eyebrow going up at their equally haggard states.

  “She left.” I shrugged. “Just me here now.”

  Niall leaned close to me as I came up to him and wrinkled his nose.

  “Feck. When did ya last take a shower?”

  I shrugged and shoved my hands into the pockets of my bathrobe. He narrowed his pale blue eyes at me, his lips thinning into a straight line.

  “I can appreciate that as a writer ya get ta stay in yer jammies all day, but I’d like ta think that doesn’t excuse ya from personal hygiene. Why don’t ya go upstairs and grab a shower? I’ll take ya out fer something ta eat. Ya look like ya need a proper meal as well.”

  I frowned at him, reluctant to be taken out for a pity meal. “I’ve got food around here…somewhere.”

  “Kier, don’t make me drag ya upstairs and bathe ya myself. I’ll do it. I won’t be happy about it, but I’ll feckin’ do it.”

  I glanced back to the broken lock on the front door, then to Niall with a look of defeat. “Fine. Give me ten minutes.”

  Niall had been silent throughout the whole meal, simply listening to me recount Kendall’s swift and dramatic exit from my life. Strangely, I didn’t find myself getting emotional at all. The only thing I did feel was embarrassed and numb. How had I not seen it coming? After what happened with my older brother the night before our wedding, I should have seen it then. Kendall didn’t love me anymore, and I was starting to wonder if she ever had.

  “I hope ya got checked after that shite. Who knows what kinds of arseholes she’s fecked behind yer back.”

  I cringed at the thought, but nodded. “I did. I’m clean.”

  “Well, thank God fer that at least. Ya know what I think ya need?” Niall spoke up, a thoughtful look on his face as he fidgeted with his phone. “I think ya need ta get away from this hellhole. For at least a bit.”

  “And where do ya suppose I should I go?”

  “Come ta Midtown.”

  I looked up at him to be sure he was serious. “What? With ya and Liam?”

  “Yeah. Why not? It’s a nice place and it’s about time ya two jackarses iron things out between ya.”

  “Right. I’m sure that’s exactly what he wants too.”

  Niall shrugged and brought a beer to his lips. “Don’t let his grumpy exterior fool ya. He misses having ya as a brother, even if he won’t admit it.”

  “I don’t know. Kendall already made me feel like a jackarse. No need ta let Liam gloat that he was right about her.”

  Niall frowned at this. “He won’t gloat. He’s yer brother. Seriously ya should think about coming.”

  “I’ll think about it, I guess.”

  “Good, ‘cause I just bought ya a ticket fer tomorrow night. I have ta head back in a couple hours and my flight was already full.”

  I choked on my drink and glared at him. “I can’t leave tomorrow. I have work ta do.”

  “Ya’ve got a feckin’ laptop, don’t ya? Last time I checked, ya could take those with ya.”

  “And if I don’t want ta go?”

  “Then yer an arsehole for wasting my hard-earned money.” Niall grinned and placed cash on the table for the waitress. “I emailed ya the ticket confirmation. Now, go home, shave that feckin’ beard so ya don’t look like a bum, and get on that flight tomorrow. I need ta get goin’.”

  “Fine, whatever.” I groaned and followed him out of the restaurant. He gave me a discerning look before hailing a cab.

  “I’ll pick ya up at the airport tomorrow night, alright? Ya better feckin’ show.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Ink

  I like to leave a lasting impression on people. It’s part of the reason I got into tattoos. Some had deep, meaningful symbolism behind them. Others, like the ridiculous baby tiger I was tattooing on this Scottish man’s groin, not so much. Still it was sure to be a funny story.

  “Feck, donnae get tae close there, love!” He squirmed and tried to peer down at the work in progress but the other two guys who accompanied him held his shoulders.

  “Ye’ll see it soon enough there, tiger.” The other Scottish guy, a handsome man with shaggy light brown hair, snickered as he patted his shoulder. Nolan—the other man and a long time client of mine—smirked, his eyes glassy from one too many drinks.

  “You know I wouldn’t normally do this.” I lifted a stern eyebrow at him and attempted to hide my own amusement beneath an unconvincing frown.

  He flashed me a sheepish look, “but I’m yer best customer and it’s the night of my bachelor party.”

  My lips eased into a grin at the mischievous gleam in his eyes. “If he freaks out tomorrow when he sees this, I’m sending him right back to you.”

  “That’s fine. I’ll handle the little shithead.”

  “Oi! I’m no’ a feckin’ shithead, ye arsehole!”

  “Quit moving around, Grant! Yer goin’ ta make her mess up.” Nolan laughed and pressed the Grant’s shoulder back down. He let out a grunt, glaring up at Nolan. “Don’t give me that look. Ya lost the game fair and square. A bet’s a bet. Camden already got his nip pierced like he said he would.”

/>   I tried to wipe the grin off my face, setting my attention back to the doe-eyed baby tiger I was shading in. Liam, my best friend and business partner, poked his head into the room, curious from all the noise. He and Nolan nodded at each other and he peeked over my shoulder to watch my work.

  “Is that a feckin’ baby—”

  “Shh!” The other Scot, Camden snorted. Liam pulled his lips straight, doing his best not to laugh and ran a hand through his dark brown hair.

  “Ya goin’ ta be okay if I head out now?” He asked.

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I looked up at him. Agitation was clear on his features as his dark blue eyes watched me.

  “I got a text. My brother’s comin’ in from Cali. He needs me ta pick him up.”

  “Who, Niall? I thought he got back yesterday?”

  “No, my other brother.”

  I stopped tattooing again and raised a curious eyebrow at him. “Your other brother? I only thought you had one.”

  Liam sighed, scrubbing a hand over his stubbled jaw and grimacing. “We don’t really talk anymore. It’s a long feckin’ story.”

  “I’m listening.”

  He glanced down at his watch. “Maybe later, I need ta get goin’ if I’m goin’ ta make it there in time. Ya still up for a couple drinks later? I have a feelin’ I’ll need it.’

  “Of course.”

  “Thanks, Shayne. I’ll see ya in a bit.” Liam winked at me and went for the door.

  “Make sure the front is locked up!” I called after him, then smiled at Nolan.

  “Shame on you guys for keeping me here late.”

  “Ohh come on. Ya know I’m a good tipper, Shay shay.”

  I glanced up at Nolan. “Shay shay? Really?”

  Both he and Camden exchanged looks and giggled in a rather unmanly way.

  “I’m sorry. I’m a bit drunk.” Nolan admitted with a lopsided grin and a well-timed hiccup.

  I shook my head, adding white highlights into the tattoo and ignoring the giggle from the Scot laid out in my chair.

  “Ye kin, love, yer hand’s gettin’ awfully close ta ma’—Ow!” Grant winced and glared at Nolan. “That hurt, ye bloody Irishman!”